Broken

2006-06-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

Sold Painting to Pekin,Il

2006-06-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sold Painting to Vancouver, B.C.

Another Begins

2005-08-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hey All,
I'm back. I had some internet service problems, and some very big domestic issues.
I haven't had but a few minutes a day to write. My problems are on the road to recovery though.
I did come up with this one here. So, enjoy and I hope to be able to post again soon.

America's Idol,
soft glow inside.
Willing disciple,
fit to be tied.
Invisible tendrels,
invaiding his mind.
Rotting his freewill,
so commerce can dine.
Viewing remotely,
survivors and crime.
Casinos and cartoons,
and crocidile minds.
Unknown to this zombie,
he's losing his soul.
Obeying this box now.
Remotely controlled.

I don't know about you, but I loved this one!

Troy

By The Way

2005-06-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
Know it's been awhile. Sorry. Life has away of keeping you from the things you enjoy.
Here's a few for you.

Damnation of dreams
Hours of time
Wasted relief
Alone with the rhyme
failure of system
Detachment of mind
Zombification
Awakened but blind

Summers song through the leaves of the trees
Soft and gentle against my cheek
Forgotten stress
Remembered past
Believing the light will never fade

Held in the gaze of the full lunar light.
A soul overcome by the beauty it bathes in.
Dark forces arise unchecked.
Crouched in the clearing beside oceans of corn,
its voice shatters the nights quiet whisper
Blood soaked razors drip success,
while cold black eyes yearn for more.
Forgotten Identity.
No person.
No past.
Left to feel nothing but the moon.

Thanks to all who tred here and leave their voice.

Troy

The Theory of Life

2005-06-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

Life seems to push us to settle in to patterns. The word "NO" intrudes on the everyday.
I don't seem content to just be where I am. Was I meant for more? And if I am, why does change not occur
when I put forth so much effort? Is drastic patience required, or just a change of scenery .
I'm writing free form now. Spur of the moment. No success with the EBay sale. I did make a connection with a
selling and award winning artist, but it seems that connections are all I ever make. I know I won't quit. I can't.
So for now, I will turn to the canvas and the pen. Selling, it seems, has become the only true recognition.
I don't know why this is. Maybe, it is because we all give up our time so we can earn.
I'm tired of half-life. I want people to see my work because it is a glimpse of my soul. But, I am afraid that selling those little parts of it will rob my of the entire thing. I hate the double edge sword I live on, and I would love to escape into my work. Not my 9-5. My other reality. Changing the blank white of nothing into something beautiful. My Theory of Life, to make beauty from the empty white that lies before me.

Am I broken, or am I just being lied to by life's little trappings?

I will push the darkness away because you ask me to.

My pen is dead. Just when it found something to say.

Honesty, integrity, Truth, and Honor.
Lust, Desire, Passion, and Squalor.

We must add color to this blank existence.

Bye all,

Troy

Midnight

2005-05-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to all who came to read and were disappointed.
I was trying to learn how to sell my paintings on E-Bay.
It was a successful venture although it did take up some time.
I posted Protective Parents on there and it will hopefully sell in 7 days. (As of tonight)

I did bring treats from my ever racing mind, and I hope you all comment and enjoy.
Once again, I am sorry for the very long delay in posts.

Muttered direction,
in the warmth of the Sun,
Belief in the distance of travel undone.
Bring forth the ammo,
the fight must be won!
Stack up the resistance.
Attack and have fun.

Paper Personality.
Color yourself,
and make an interesting picture of you.

The dead walk this earth.
Vacant stares and preoccupied minds.
Standing like cattle in line at the Mart.
Dazed by their recent consumption of goods.
Believing that happiness comes in a box.
Rush home, Plug it in, Waste precious life.
Become the zombie you are.

Believe me when I say to you,
"I do not know the way."
Your life is to chaotic to face another day.
When one man's heart is broken,
another heart may mend.
The garden of the callous soul,
must die to live again.
But in rejuvenation,
this earth won't be so cold.
Spring brings new beginnings,
so life can then unfold.

Thanks for your ears.
Troy

The Voice of the Night

2005-04-15T00:28:00.000-07:00

Moonlight slowly fills the night with its silver gaze.
Quiet forests of snow covered trees stand guard over the peace.
The stars are set free to dance upon this black curtain.
Silent twinkles flash like diamonds caught in this lunar light.
Infinite beauty to behold.
As the dark veil is pulled over the daylight's eyes.
I can't help but wonder what we all have inside.

Vapid existence.
To short of time.
Distant resistance.
Quietly chimes.
Breakneck advancement.
No thought at all.
Silent concealment.
Awaiting your fall.
Bloody containment.
Trapping the truth.
Destructive resentment.
Completely uncouth.
Waxing and waning.
The ebb and the flow.
Winds soft direction.
Whispers to go.

Thanks All,
Troy

My Silent Friend

2005-04-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

I must go to you again,
My silent friend.
Your strenght is a preserver of life on a turbulant earth.
Can your old soul bring my feet back
onto solid ground and root them firmly?
Prepare me to bend in adversity.
Shield the rain of sarcasm,
so I do not drownd in its storms.
Hold me up when I'm broken,
so that I may learn it is o.k. to wear my soul on the outside as you do.
Reveal the cryptic cycle to life, and instruct me in its passing.
Thank you for your understanding and always being there.
My Tree,
My silent friend.

Thanks for your time all,
Troy

Wonderland

2005-04-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

Hey all.
Sorry it has been awhile.

Take a walk through wonderland with me by your side.
Through the looking glass and down the rabbit hole.
We'll sit with the caterpillar to relax our mind.
We may find the answer to that question.
Why?
Sit at the Mad Hatter's table and sip his insanity.
Pet the march hare for luck and dream of summer days.
Off now to paint roses red and do battle with the queen.
Decision time grows near.
Do we take our pills and continue to dream, or awaken and live in this?
Our wonderland called now.

Cya.
Troy

Divergence

2005-03-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

The body cannot live without the mind.

Beaten and burned the worm has turned.

The voracious will change existence to fortitude.

Nikki, You were right.

The fight is all we have. I will force my belief in my self on all who oppose.

Bring on the wolrd. I refuse to submit.

Even a lone samurai can bleed and not fail!

I'm back!
Troy

Happy Birthday to Myself

2005-03-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

Well Troy,

You made it through another year. What are you going to do with your life?

Answer:

Live in this half-life another year? Feel like I was meant for more?
Wonder why I never see any opprotunity? Believe in hopeless dreams?
Become cold? Hardened? Soulless? Corporate? Distraught? Torchered?
Fight? Flee? Die or be?

Maybe, I just won't care.

Darkness Falls

2005-03-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

Posting from the dark corners of my mind:

Tired existence.
Ready to fall.
Wired resistence.
No time at all.
Shattered perfection.
I wax and I wain.
Loves broken promise.
Alone with my pain.
Future is nowhere.
No end in sight.
Lost in the darkness.
Failed in the fight.

My lonely life of distemper is a purchase I made a long time ago.
Fear my empty heart.
Its bank if full.
Ready to buy my way out of these lies.

Bring me to my place in life.
For I do not know the destination.
I only feel the pain of the travel.

Cast all your stones.
Believe what I say.
Keep up with the Jones's.
You'll fail every day.

Sometimes it is harder to ration sanity than to believe in what life has in store.

I cloak my pain with politeness.

Flurrys of intelligence.
Lost in the storm.
Rythm of life.
Didn't want to be born.
Breath every moment.
Every hour each day.
Wishing that life would just go away.

Painting a Picture.
A tissue of lies.
Heart slowly fadeing.
Alone with my pride.
Clocks breath is feeling the minutes of time.
Despair knows my hand.
Sour tounge filled with lime.
Tear my heart open and bleed my soul dry.
My souls wish is no more than eagles that fly.

Can you keep trying?
Will you not yeald?
Will faith slowly guide you so that you can heal?

A simle plan noted to see thing my way.
Don't think that I'm easy.
I just want to play.
With hearts heavy burden I've nothing to gain,
but belief in the fact that you live in my pain.

Beaten and burned.
The worm has turned.

Good night all.
And remember,

Dismay will prevent even the strongest spirit from flight.

Troy

2005-03-02T00:44:00.000-08:00

Protective Parents

2005-03-02T00:41:00.000-08:00

Space #1

Waiting for warmth

2005-03-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

Here for a Quickie.

What happened to the heart of the world?
Did it wither and die like the flower in winter?
Did it freeze solid like the soil?
Frost on the prairie grass.
I only hope that with Springs warmth,
It will bloom again and show its beauty.
Troy

2005-03-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

Broken (Thanks Seven)

It's 3am, I must be alone.

2005-02-25T00:22:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
Bringing you more from me.

Believe in love, but trust fate to crush its hope.

Death may come with a whisper in you ear.
The whimper of a life extinguished.

The infection that lives in my mind is the only friend I have.

Bring forth the angelic form,
so that the demons inside can be vanquished.
Drive your sword through their withered hearts, and send them back to the darkness.
Peace will follow this, and light will flow into the cracks of my life.

These pages taunt me with their void.
Pushing me to carefully fill each line with the thoughts of a painful existence.
Bleeding the soft skin of life.
Drawing the useless soul from my body, and driving it into this parchment.

I hunger for the rich freedom that extinction will bring.

I cannot believe in belief.
Because, believing in belief is not believable.
If your beliefs, do not believe in you.

I can feel fate pressuring me to complete this task.
But, I can't understand what must be done.

Can we live in immersed in the looming bite of indifference?
Extinction seems more plausible.
Will change curb the apparent lack of explanation?
I believe life doesn't care.

Abundant life lived in vain is still lost.

Life is just the moments we waste.

Stupidity runs the simple soul.

Listening is a forsaken gift.
Sold for pennies on the dollar.
We cannot forget to hear our soul,
and never let it faultier.

Infinite knowledge does not fight infinite despair.

Night All,
Troy

My Book of Counted Sorrows

2005-02-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

More Darkness from my Broken Soul:

Despairs sweet embrace envelopes the hard heart that resides in this hollow shell.
Cool moonlight spills forth from kindred spirits.
Breathing soft light into an empty soul.
Broken forever in the nights bloodless rage.

I don't feel a beat for the life I live.
Darkness and longing are all I can give.
Words on the paper in an eternal song.
My will is all broken.
I don't want to belong.

The square box that steals my life cares nothing for my dreams.

Every day the mirror tells me that I grow older by the minute.
Die each day,
That way you can live each moment.

In belief we stand.
Saluting colors that do not fade or faultier,
so we can spend our lives as spectators.

I will pursue freedom until I can break free of this life of slavery.

Justify you existence with something other than the needless trinkets that consume you.

Tear down this meager life and its trappings.
Let the ocean of time wash away the beauty of the sand castles built by my mind.
Draw out the fine grains of my memories with the tide of years.
Uncover its treasures,
then take them away with the strong current of mortality.

Time for the darkness to over power the light.
The war of the day is over.
A battle waged and not won.
Retreat and lick your wounded heart.
Sleep holds sway over conscience.
At dawn we begin again.

And in closing,

Off to that dangerous place called dream land.
Where fear is real.
Nightmares live and rule,
and peace is just a distant memory.

Thanks for you time,
Troy

Fear & Loathing in Illinois

2005-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

Hello,
Sorry I haven't posted anything as of late. I have been painting(my living room) and can't stand it when a project is not finished.
I will try to post more often.
Here we go again all alone:

Can you follow these electronic footprints back to my fractured personality?

The most poetic dreams come from the infinite reality of space and time.

Broken and beaten,
I live every day.
With the notion that fear has its own special way,
of infecting our minutes and killing our souls.
Pushing and leaching our thoughts as we go.
Do you not feel it?
Can you not see?
You don't want live,
with the darkness that's me.

The nights loneliness is the only peace I feel.
unencumbered by the truth that all must wither and die.
Love is lost in the vastness of time.
Why must truth have victory over the minds desires?

The core of a rainstorm is its passion to assimilate all things under its authority.
Imposing its resolve on all who battle with its power.
This is futile.
Embrace its will,
and understand it rules us.

Moral is low,
with no place to go.
Fighting for meaning in a world full of show.
Ego and madness burned up inside.
Left me with nothing to swallow but pride.

Cloaking my minutes for dollars and dimes.
My TV keeps asking, "Consume.", all the time.
"Please fear the world. It will keep you inside."
"Worship my soft glow cause you are my bride."

The soul of a song can replace the Winters breath on our hearts.

Why does life take away our souls?
Time pulls at each and every strand of it.
If we don't fight every minute to keep it,
It is stripped away like the pedals of a flower in Fall.

Is there a monster under my bed?
Toothy and hairy,
with eyes that glow red?
I'm under the covers,
don't want to come out.
The blankets protection does not contain doubt.
Forcefield of cotton,
along with my light.
I'll battle this demon,
alone in the night.
Reprieve is found in the dawns early rays.
Peace on my pillow,
as I sleep in the day.

I wrote the last one after watching my son struggle with his own fears. Kids are so cool.
They teach us that our fears are just as silly and unfounded as theirs, but no less debilitating.

Thank you all for you time.
Troy

P.S.- Thank God for spell check.

Upbeat Poetry?

2005-02-04T01:55:00.000-08:00

A deviation from the norm:

Advance or retreat,
but never give up.

My mind is not my own,
but it ain't yours either.

Beaten and burned.
The worm has turned.

Life's final embrace will be filled with either pain or peace.
Whatever the case I will not fear.

Challenge the day,
because it can not destroy courage.

I can't quit.
My spirit won't let me.

Life is not about living.
It is about change and adaptation.

The rain comes in many different ways.
Light and whimsical.
Harsh and unforgiving.
Cool and refreshing.
Soft, Stinging, Unannounced, Bold.
People are like this too.

My mood changes as often as the breeze rustles the leaves of a tree.

Do not fear.
Do not submit.
Fight!
Because if you don't,
you will die from it.

Life must have a rhythm.

I never said I was a wise man.
Just an honorable one.

Be yourself. An individual.
But, don't forget there are others in this world who are just as individual as you.

The Spring breeze clears the cobwebs of the mind.
Winters chill hardens the heart.
Summer's rays sting the skin,
and Falls colors soothe the soul.

A life without fear is impossible to waste.

Life must have direction forced upon it.
Direction takes motivation.
motivation takes energy.
Energy takes desire.
Desire takes passion.
So, life must be lived passionately.

Feel free to dream.
Then, demand that life take notice.

Haiku: (just in case: 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)

Wind blows soft and light.
Heavens wings take flight today.
Fly free from this world.

Believe in yourself.
Intelligence in the dark.
Twilight has no fear.

Daylight finds me here.
Intelligence in the dark.
Twilight has no fear.

O.K. It's late and day light will come soon. So, I will leave ya'll with this.

Taking the path
less traveled one day.
I met a man who had to say,
"I'm glad to see another here."
"It shows me that you have no fear."
"The crowd will always steer you wrong."
"They just want you to belong."
"Live in freedom."
"Let them be."
"You won't need them."
"You will see."
I thanked this man for his advice.
He said, "No problem. Don't think twice."
I asked him, "Which bridge do I cross?"
He said, "I don't know. I am lost."

Thank you for your time,
Troy

Poetry from a broken soul

2005-02-02T03:23:00.000-08:00

Sumitted for your approval:

Life's chess game laid out with kings and pawns.
So what of the knights in the fray?
We can not live if chivalry is dead,
so our castles and queens can be free.

Do we have the power to change the world,
or just our own?
Because the only power I've found,
is the power to change the channel.

We sell our souls for paper and coin.
This is the price of our freedom.

Be mindful of deceit.
Its masks are ego and confidence.

Can our gift to man be any more pure
than the possibility of unconditional love.

Does my insanity scare you?
Because, I live with it every day.

Darkness falls so quickly across the landscape of my mind.
Harsh words and cold shoulders bring on these storms.
They rage with hate and nonconformity.
Patience is the only suit of armor we have against these attacks.
Guard it well.
For it may be taken away at any moment, and all you'll have to replace it is fear.

Pitch black night,
how I long for your silence and stealth.
Dishearten me.
Your loneliness is the best lover I've ever known.
For I long for deaths lite kiss on my cheek.

Desperation is easy when you have no hope.

no soulmate, no soul.

rhythm and time shake hands every second.

My heart must bleed this page,
because I can not stand to see another soul
torn asunder by life's blatant disregard.

Rains simple kisses fill the lonely hours spent in sorrowful regret.
Killing me hour after hour.
A moist reminder of the present,
forced upon a wasted spirit dying to be understood.

Life is an eraser on the pencil of time.

Absorbed in the debate that lives in the soul.
Cynical wonder, Fleeting control.
Inquisitive surroundings, Diverted rage.
My mind is bent in all different ways.
Can't understand it, Don't want to fit in.
Masquerading through life, Except with my pen.

I'll do one more to lighten the mood a bit. So, here we go.

The bat went to the doctor.
He said, "I can not see."
"I have a massive headache."
"It hurts too bad for me."
The doc thought for a minute,
but then he hit the mark.
"I think you have a headache,
because it isn't dark."

Thanks for your time all.
comment back so I know what you all think.

Troy

You Come Run This Zoo!

2005-01-21T02:00:00.000-08:00

The hippo has a chest cold.
The rhino has a rash.
A camel's back is broken, and said it needed cast.

The penguin's knees were hurting.
The tortise was too old.
The polar bear was angry, because his feet were cold.

The zebra's spots were missing.
I haven't got a clue.
If he had just misplaced them, or was he crazy too.

The giraffe's glands were swollen.
The baboon's butt was sore.
The snake had hurt his colon.
I cannot take much more.

The beaver had a toothache.
The piggy had swine flu.
The cheetah said his feet hurt.
I don't know what to do.

The elephant wants to diet.
The vet has run away.
The monkey's are all arguing, and they refuse to play.

I can take no more of this.
The tigers are all blue.
So, if you think that you can do it.
You come run this zoo!

Troy

Poetry

2005-01-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
thought I do some poetry tonight. Warning, the following is kinda dark but don't worry. Ok.

To late to think, I can not live. Soul is blank, I can not give.
Wonder why I write these things, maybe salvation is in the wings.
No its false and all a clutter. My words are flat, my words are muttered.

Despair is an odd comfort. You don't know where your going and you don't know where you've been.

Weather my soul.
For it will surrender.
Just as the night surrenders to the day.

Reality is a tear in the minds imagination.

Nights soft breath and the darks sweet embrace are ripped away by lifes daily stupidity.

I miss the rain, the ripples it creates in life and its cool kisses on my cheeks.

Even a deep mind can drownd in the shallowest of conversations.

Worry not, for my mind finds comfort in insanity and peace within its rotten core.

I love my desperation. It does not leave.

Love can complete a person.
Fear can tear love apart.
When the nightmare arises and dark closes in, We all must lead with our heart.

We cannot live fake lives.
It forces the poetic nature of man to die.

I admire the rain. Its mood is clear.

Is life cheating me? Because I see its lies everyday.

The daily grind is the blight on the creative soul.

Why can't the human soul understand the pain all others feel? Does it not care?

Live simply. Simply live.

Humanity is lost every time we get paid for our minutes of wasted life.

Swim through life. It asks no more from you that to keep your head above water.

Love my mind for the thoughts it makes.
Learn my mind for the Questions you seek.
Leave my mind for your own.

See ya all later. I still can't find me on the web Kim. Please share my blog with all your friends Judi.
and don't forget to live in each and every moment.

Troy